Yeah, another old gem from the Masters. You think they ever wrote a book with those sayings?
[ he thinks of telling cal about why he made that comment about anakin but... no, another time. he's not ready to open that can of worms on cal, not when he's questioning it all himself. ]
I don't need to know how it happens, or when. Maybe it hasn't hit me yet, I don't know. I don't want to change it or do anything different to prevent it, but it feels like I've been running my whole life from death.
If they did, Master Yoda would probably be rich. And also kicked off the Council.
[So that's a big no. On the other hand, Cal is capable of cryptic Jedi speech.]
Have you been running from death or have you been running towards it? To be honest, probably the latter but, in your case, that's a good thing. You've spent your time in the Rebellion helping others but you can't say you haven't been running headlong into danger.
[ he smirks a touch. he can't imagine yoda wanting any money. he's not even sure if he changed his robes all that often... ]
It's funny. How after Order 66 all we could think about was hiding in plain sight, but then years pass by and we just can't let the ghost die. [ he sighs, a mix of fond and forlorn. ] Guess that's the real Jedi way. Running into danger because we must. It's who we are, isn't it?
[ it's unexpected but he's at least not caught off-guard. force sense and all being as strong as it is. ]
Don't sound too excited about that. [ true though. it feels nice to talk about it with someone of his era when the concept of a jedi era is still a distant memory. ] I think we'll be doing a lot more of it too here. The Priestess can't be thrilled about what the Emperor did to the Temple.
[Consider Cal entirely surprised. He has to process that for a moment.]
I'll be honest, I think Anakin is everything I should be. But my Master often complained that he had no discipline and did what he wanted.
[He has to rub his brow, mostly to think on what he learned. Almost every Jedi Master spouted that line and didn't approve of Anakin. Yet he was a part of them, even if Cal disagreed.]
Maybe he's been swayed by smooth words. You and I, as self promoting as it sounds, have been through a lot more than Anakin has and can recognize this kind of thing. [Cal's struggling to make up excuses for the person who will never be a Jedi Master.]] We just have to pull him back.
Yeah. [ yeah... he hopes. ] My Master seemed more amused with him than the others, but she was rather unconventional herself.
[ he breathes in, trying to think of an excuse himself. the conversation still rattles him. ]
You and I are the only Temple claimed Jedi. Perhaps he thinks it's a good idea for us to all be united under one territory? But...
[ well, if he would defect for any reason the first that comes to mind is ezra. but ezra is... grown. he can handle himself. kanan has to recognize that, especially if his death truly is impending. he has to start letting go, no matter how rough it is. ]
...Ezra. He's over there, isn't he? [Cal has a small amount of sympathy and is also glad he doesn't have to deal with a split in loyalty.] I don't think he'd bend to anyone's word. Even yours, to be fair. Ezra is the kind of person who would do what he thinks is right without considering the bigger picture, if I've read him right. Kind of like you but with a little less training.
Oh yeah. He does what he wants, trust me. Don't think even the Order could reel back his free spirit.
[ he told ezra not to tell anakin about his darth vader conspiracy spiel, but he's more than ready to be let down. he loves the kid but he is... too honest, too good, and it has led to a lot of unnecessary troubles. ]
The thing about Ezra is that he wants to do good. Desperately so. That's what worries me the most. He doesn't look at the bigger picture, only the immediate moment and the outcome he could obtain by seizing it.
[Leave it to Cal to see a bright lining through this conversation.]
If you know how he's going to react to a situation, you can act on that. Mostly if you think it's going to be damaging as a whole. I wouldn't presume to intervene but, as his Master, it'll at least be easy to negate anything negative he does here.
I do my best to keep him in check. At least when I see he's going too far.
[ he offers ezra a lot of freedoms because he can see his passion, his spirit, and wants to respect that. the old teachings of the jedi to suppress and push back those emotions wasn't one kanan ever understood even as a padawan, and so he can't in good faith press them onto ezra. but he also disregarded warning signs he should have seen that ezra could be tempted by darker powers - all in the name of doing good.
he breathes in, out, and lets it go. ]
You know, you should tell me a little bit more about yourself too once in a while. Feels like you're always listening to my woes.
[ maybe cal is just more closely guarded than he seems. or that he has nothing to hide. ]
Me? I don't know if there's much I can talk about.
[Despite saying that, Cal did have a diverse life. He's just not entirely aware of it.]
I could tell you about the time Darth Vader stabbed me with my own lightsaber. Or the time an ancient civilization told me they were leaving the galaxy. I could also tell you about how I made friends with a nightsister.
I know that face. And that tone. Our pilot, Greeze, did the same but she's a good person. I'd have died multiple times without her and without her abilities, I'd have never made it to the Inquisitor's headquarters undetected.
[ so very quick indeed. kanan swallows his comments, remembers not everyone from that clan is maul, and sighs. ]
I was possessed by their spirits once, so you'll have to... accept my concerns. [ not forgive, he isn't sorry! ] As long as you're careful with who you trust. You can never be too sure of their motives.
We had our fair share of fighting beforehand so it's not like I blindly threw around my trust. She had her reasons to not like Jedi. Her motives though? Probably to see the galaxy. If you've ever been to Dathomir, it's not exactly a pleasant place to look at.
[ he takes pause at that, but not because of the request. it surprises him how much courtesy cal is extending here to a clan of dark side users. hm. ]
Alright. [ he finally agrees after a moment, only faintly hesitant. ] If you put your trust in her, then I'll put mine with you.
[ she may not even come here, but in the event he does... he's getting more and more unnerved by the pockets of darkness that exist in this land. they can't spread. ]
...I hope we can both find some peace here, even as we have to make it ourselves.
After the purges, a Jedi Master went to Dathomir. He used her clan in terrible ways. ...he was pretty strong too along with being entirely insane. It took both me and her to take him down.
[ intolerance status: witches: cool clones: fuck them ]
One of the old masters? [ oof, that's... hard to hear. he knew the order was an interesting and enigmatic bunch, but he would never think of one of them would snap. ] What was he even doing on Dathomir? The nightsisters were decimated by the Separatists long before the purges.
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[Cal knows nothing of this, sadly.]
I can't say one way or other since I've never been in that situation. But I think we both know the phrase "The Force works in mysterious ways".
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[ he thinks of telling cal about why he made that comment about anakin but... no, another time. he's not ready to open that can of worms on cal, not when he's questioning it all himself. ]
I don't need to know how it happens, or when. Maybe it hasn't hit me yet, I don't know. I don't want to change it or do anything different to prevent it, but it feels like I've been running my whole life from death.
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[So that's a big no. On the other hand, Cal is capable of cryptic Jedi speech.]
Have you been running from death or have you been running towards it? To be honest, probably the latter but, in your case, that's a good thing. You've spent your time in the Rebellion helping others but you can't say you haven't been running headlong into danger.
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It's funny. How after Order 66 all we could think about was hiding in plain sight, but then years pass by and we just can't let the ghost die. [ he sighs, a mix of fond and forlorn. ] Guess that's the real Jedi way. Running into danger because we must. It's who we are, isn't it?
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That's exactly who we are. People who throw ourselves in front of the innocent because we have the ability to do so.
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Don't sound too excited about that. [ true though. it feels nice to talk about it with someone of his era when the concept of a jedi era is still a distant memory. ] I think we'll be doing a lot more of it too here. The Priestess can't be thrilled about what the Emperor did to the Temple.
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[Thankfully, Cal learned a spell for fixing walls. Or a small part of them.]
Reviewing things, I can't help but think this Emperor reminds me of a certain other Emperor. In terms of accepting his terms and everything.
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[ and, saying that, he feels he should be a little more clear. he straightens up and turns his head to cal, eyes shut. ]
I spoke with Anakin some time ago. When I told him I was part of the Temple claimed he suggested I should defect to the Court.
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[Consider Cal entirely surprised. He has to process that for a moment.]
I'll be honest, I think Anakin is everything I should be. But my Master often complained that he had no discipline and did what he wanted.
[He has to rub his brow, mostly to think on what he learned. Almost every Jedi Master spouted that line and didn't approve of Anakin. Yet he was a part of them, even if Cal disagreed.]
Maybe he's been swayed by smooth words. You and I, as self promoting as it sounds, have been through a lot more than Anakin has and can recognize this kind of thing. [Cal's struggling to make up excuses for the person who will never be a Jedi Master.]] We just have to pull him back.
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[ he breathes in, trying to think of an excuse himself. the conversation still rattles him. ]
You and I are the only Temple claimed Jedi. Perhaps he thinks it's a good idea for us to all be united under one territory? But...
[ well, if he would defect for any reason the first that comes to mind is ezra. but ezra is... grown. he can handle himself. kanan has to recognize that, especially if his death truly is impending. he has to start letting go, no matter how rough it is. ]
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[Yeah, there's a pause there.]
...Ezra. He's over there, isn't he? [Cal has a small amount of sympathy and is also glad he doesn't have to deal with a split in loyalty.] I don't think he'd bend to anyone's word. Even yours, to be fair. Ezra is the kind of person who would do what he thinks is right without considering the bigger picture, if I've read him right. Kind of like you but with a little less training.
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[ he told ezra not to tell anakin about his darth vader conspiracy spiel, but he's more than ready to be let down. he loves the kid but he is... too honest, too good, and it has led to a lot of unnecessary troubles. ]
The thing about Ezra is that he wants to do good. Desperately so. That's what worries me the most. He doesn't look at the bigger picture, only the immediate moment and the outcome he could obtain by seizing it.
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[Leave it to Cal to see a bright lining through this conversation.]
If you know how he's going to react to a situation, you can act on that. Mostly if you think it's going to be damaging as a whole. I wouldn't presume to intervene but, as his Master, it'll at least be easy to negate anything negative he does here.
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[ he offers ezra a lot of freedoms because he can see his passion, his spirit, and wants to respect that. the old teachings of the jedi to suppress and push back those emotions wasn't one kanan ever understood even as a padawan, and so he can't in good faith press them onto ezra. but he also disregarded warning signs he should have seen that ezra could be tempted by darker powers - all in the name of doing good.
he breathes in, out, and lets it go. ]
You know, you should tell me a little bit more about yourself too once in a while. Feels like you're always listening to my woes.
[ maybe cal is just more closely guarded than he seems. or that he has nothing to hide. ]
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[Despite saying that, Cal did have a diverse life. He's just not entirely aware of it.]
I could tell you about the time Darth Vader stabbed me with my own lightsaber. Or the time an ancient civilization told me they were leaving the galaxy. I could also tell you about how I made friends with a nightsister.
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A nightsister.
[ disgusted, revolted. ]
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[His defense was very....quick.]
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I was possessed by their spirits once, so you'll have to... accept my concerns. [ not forgive, he isn't sorry! ] As long as you're careful with who you trust. You can never be too sure of their motives.
[ maul. ]
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[Rocks and crags galore.]
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[ he's got blind jokes for days, weeks, years and lifetimes and they're all incredibly tired. ]
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[Cal sighs.]
As a friend, do me a favor. If somehow, someway, Merrin shows up here, try not to treat her badly. She's already been abused by Jedi before.
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Alright. [ he finally agrees after a moment, only faintly hesitant. ] If you put your trust in her, then I'll put mine with you.
[ she may not even come here, but in the event he does... he's getting more and more unnerved by the pockets of darkness that exist in this land. they can't spread. ]
...I hope we can both find some peace here, even as we have to make it ourselves.
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[At least its not like Kanan and his clone hate.]
After the purges, a Jedi Master went to Dathomir. He used her clan in terrible ways. ...he was pretty strong too along with being entirely insane. It took both me and her to take him down.
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witches: cool
clones: fuck them ]
One of the old masters? [ oof, that's... hard to hear. he knew the order was an interesting and enigmatic bunch, but he would never think of one of them would snap. ] What was he even doing on Dathomir? The nightsisters were decimated by the Separatists long before the purges.
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[Cal gave a nonchalant shrug to end that off.]
You can tell how easy it would be to abuse that relationship.
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