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[uglyponcho]

Cal here. Drop a message and I'll get back to it, I promise.

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text, late feb, thank you for making this for me ilu

[blindrun]

Cal, it's Kanan. Message back if you're around.

[uglyponcho]

Hey Kanan. What do you need?

[blindrun]

Some perspective. Maybe a drink.

[ totally a drink. ]

[uglyponcho]

I don't have much in the way of drink but I do have plenty of perspective. But it depends on if its the kind of perspective you need.

[blindrun]

What you're saying is that you're useless to me.

[ har har. ]

Are you in the Temple? We should meet outside in the courtyard. Nice night.

[uglyponcho]

You're a real jokester. But yeah, I'm in the Temple.
Meet you there in five?

[blindrun]

See you soon.

[ ha ha ha.

and sure enough he's outside the temple courtyard, sitting down on the stone paved grounds. the temple repairs are still underway so it looks messy, but well. he can't see it anyway and he likes the cool breeze at night. kanan tries to enjoy it more than ever before. ]

[uglyponcho]

[While it didn't seem like Kanan was in a rush, Cal didn't necessarily want to keep him waiting. After gathering up BD-1, since he was always with Cal, he headed out to the courtyard. It was a place Cal had been working in so he knew the way.]

Hey. To call me out this time of night, this must be important.

[blindrun]

[ unlike bd-1, who is good and pure, chopper is back in his room. or maybe wandering around after breaking out, who knows. point is he isn't here to terrorize them like the last time.

kanan shifts and pushes up to his feet, a stronger grasp on the force now than earlier in the month. ]

Thanks for coming out. [ how to even phrase this... ] I think I just need to talk to someone, and you're about the only other person who might understand.

[ well, someone who isn't ezra. cal is an outside party and has proven he can keep a neutral look on things. something kanan hasn't quite mastered. ]

[uglyponcho]

No problem. It's what you do for friends, right?

[That, at least, was his lesson on how to be pals with people. Helping them out when they needed it.

Cal walks over and takes a seat beside Kanan.]

Lay it on me. I'll do what I can to ease whatever suffering you might be experiencing.

[blindrun]

[ friends. they've only known each other for a couple weeks, but it feels like that already doesn't it? he wonders if him and cal ever crossed paths in the temple, back as padawans, and just never knew what paths their lives would take. or that they would find each other in the most unusual place in the galaxy.

he's been contemplating his life a lot. ]

Ezra told me... about the future. I'm not sure what he's told you about us, if anything, but something tells me he had to tell someone.

[ kanan asked him not to say anything and he kept his word as long as he could hold it in, but he knows ezra. he'd want to tell someone, someone who could understand. another jedi. ]

[uglyponcho]

He spoke about a lot of things, yeah. Your padawan is uh....loose lipped if you know what i mean.

[It was the truth, so to speak. But he didn't want to admit all that he knew since he did make a promise.]

What kind of future did he give you?

[blindrun]

[ a light snort. ] Tell me about it.

[ for however much ezra likes to tout being a good liar, he's actually very honest. kanan can sense he has to be the one to say it - it's why he called cal out here after all. ]

He wanted me to knight him, and said I didn't because I couldn't. [ he breathes in, then out- ] I died.

[ saying it out loud, past tense, chills him. ]

[uglyponcho]

Ah...

[Well, at least Kanan knew and Cal didn't have to keep a secret. But still, he hadn't thought this far ahead.]

...this might seem insensitive but I don't see the problem here. Knowing that you're dead in the future can be sobering but are you dead now?

[blindrun]

Only on the inside.

[ ha ha ha, he's here all night!! ]

Is it strange that... it doesn't bother me? I feel like it should, but...

[uglyponcho]

[That doesn't even get a laugh out of Cal, sorry.]

It shouldn't. Kanan, look. I don't know the circumstances but I know where we are now. And you have an opportunity. One to teach Ezra everything he needs to know, after what had happened to you.

...if I were you, I'd triple his training. Just to make sure he's ready.

[blindrun]

[ he presses his eyes down and opens them, frustrated. not because of cal or anything he says, but because he knows it too. ]

That's the problem. He thinks he knows everything he has to. Like he doesn't even have to try anymore. Kid always had an ego, but now he feels justified in it.

[uglyponcho]

[At least he had a proper retort for that.]

How do you think Master Kenobi feels about Anakin? If you ask me, it's the same thing. Of course, there's always the simple option...though simple isn't for Jedi.

[blindrun]

Ugh, don't even bring up Anakin right now. He's giving me a headache.

[ between ezra claiming he's vader and anakin suggesting he should join the emperor (of fellden, but even so) he's exhausted by the thought alone. ]

...No one should really know when they go, or how. It just looms over the head. But there's something freeing in the knowledge too. Almost humbling.

[uglyponcho]

Don't be so harsh on him.

[Cal knows nothing of this, sadly.]

I can't say one way or other since I've never been in that situation. But I think we both know the phrase "The Force works in mysterious ways".

[blindrun]

Yeah, another old gem from the Masters. You think they ever wrote a book with those sayings?

[ he thinks of telling cal about why he made that comment about anakin but... no, another time. he's not ready to open that can of worms on cal, not when he's questioning it all himself. ]

I don't need to know how it happens, or when. Maybe it hasn't hit me yet, I don't know. I don't want to change it or do anything different to prevent it, but it feels like I've been running my whole life from death.

[uglyponcho]

If they did, Master Yoda would probably be rich. And also kicked off the Council.

[So that's a big no. On the other hand, Cal is capable of cryptic Jedi speech.]

Have you been running from death or have you been running towards it? To be honest, probably the latter but, in your case, that's a good thing. You've spent your time in the Rebellion helping others but you can't say you haven't been running headlong into danger.

[blindrun]

[ he smirks a touch. he can't imagine yoda wanting any money. he's not even sure if he changed his robes all that often... ]

It's funny. How after Order 66 all we could think about was hiding in plain sight, but then years pass by and we just can't let the ghost die. [ he sighs, a mix of fond and forlorn. ] Guess that's the real Jedi way. Running into danger because we must. It's who we are, isn't it?

[uglyponcho]

[It's probably unexpected but Cal gives Kanan a light shove, considering that they're close together.]

That's exactly who we are. People who throw ourselves in front of the innocent because we have the ability to do so.

[blindrun]

[ it's unexpected but he's at least not caught off-guard. force sense and all being as strong as it is. ]

Don't sound too excited about that. [ true though. it feels nice to talk about it with someone of his era when the concept of a jedi era is still a distant memory. ] I think we'll be doing a lot more of it too here. The Priestess can't be thrilled about what the Emperor did to the Temple.