[ friends. they've only known each other for a couple weeks, but it feels like that already doesn't it? he wonders if him and cal ever crossed paths in the temple, back as padawans, and just never knew what paths their lives would take. or that they would find each other in the most unusual place in the galaxy.
he's been contemplating his life a lot. ]
Ezra told me... about the future. I'm not sure what he's told you about us, if anything, but something tells me he had to tell someone.
[ kanan asked him not to say anything and he kept his word as long as he could hold it in, but he knows ezra. he'd want to tell someone, someone who could understand. another jedi. ]
[ for however much ezra likes to tout being a good liar, he's actually very honest. kanan can sense he has to be the one to say it - it's why he called cal out here after all. ]
He wanted me to knight him, and said I didn't because I couldn't. [ he breathes in, then out- ] I died.
[That doesn't even get a laugh out of Cal, sorry.]
It shouldn't. Kanan, look. I don't know the circumstances but I know where we are now. And you have an opportunity. One to teach Ezra everything he needs to know, after what had happened to you.
...if I were you, I'd triple his training. Just to make sure he's ready.
[ he presses his eyes down and opens them, frustrated. not because of cal or anything he says, but because he knows it too. ]
That's the problem. He thinks he knows everything he has to. Like he doesn't even have to try anymore. Kid always had an ego, but now he feels justified in it.
How do you think Master Kenobi feels about Anakin? If you ask me, it's the same thing. Of course, there's always the simple option...though simple isn't for Jedi.
Yeah, another old gem from the Masters. You think they ever wrote a book with those sayings?
[ he thinks of telling cal about why he made that comment about anakin but... no, another time. he's not ready to open that can of worms on cal, not when he's questioning it all himself. ]
I don't need to know how it happens, or when. Maybe it hasn't hit me yet, I don't know. I don't want to change it or do anything different to prevent it, but it feels like I've been running my whole life from death.
If they did, Master Yoda would probably be rich. And also kicked off the Council.
[So that's a big no. On the other hand, Cal is capable of cryptic Jedi speech.]
Have you been running from death or have you been running towards it? To be honest, probably the latter but, in your case, that's a good thing. You've spent your time in the Rebellion helping others but you can't say you haven't been running headlong into danger.
[ he smirks a touch. he can't imagine yoda wanting any money. he's not even sure if he changed his robes all that often... ]
It's funny. How after Order 66 all we could think about was hiding in plain sight, but then years pass by and we just can't let the ghost die. [ he sighs, a mix of fond and forlorn. ] Guess that's the real Jedi way. Running into danger because we must. It's who we are, isn't it?
[ it's unexpected but he's at least not caught off-guard. force sense and all being as strong as it is. ]
Don't sound too excited about that. [ true though. it feels nice to talk about it with someone of his era when the concept of a jedi era is still a distant memory. ] I think we'll be doing a lot more of it too here. The Priestess can't be thrilled about what the Emperor did to the Temple.
[Consider Cal entirely surprised. He has to process that for a moment.]
I'll be honest, I think Anakin is everything I should be. But my Master often complained that he had no discipline and did what he wanted.
[He has to rub his brow, mostly to think on what he learned. Almost every Jedi Master spouted that line and didn't approve of Anakin. Yet he was a part of them, even if Cal disagreed.]
Maybe he's been swayed by smooth words. You and I, as self promoting as it sounds, have been through a lot more than Anakin has and can recognize this kind of thing. [Cal's struggling to make up excuses for the person who will never be a Jedi Master.]] We just have to pull him back.
Yeah. [ yeah... he hopes. ] My Master seemed more amused with him than the others, but she was rather unconventional herself.
[ he breathes in, trying to think of an excuse himself. the conversation still rattles him. ]
You and I are the only Temple claimed Jedi. Perhaps he thinks it's a good idea for us to all be united under one territory? But...
[ well, if he would defect for any reason the first that comes to mind is ezra. but ezra is... grown. he can handle himself. kanan has to recognize that, especially if his death truly is impending. he has to start letting go, no matter how rough it is. ]
...Ezra. He's over there, isn't he? [Cal has a small amount of sympathy and is also glad he doesn't have to deal with a split in loyalty.] I don't think he'd bend to anyone's word. Even yours, to be fair. Ezra is the kind of person who would do what he thinks is right without considering the bigger picture, if I've read him right. Kind of like you but with a little less training.
Oh yeah. He does what he wants, trust me. Don't think even the Order could reel back his free spirit.
[ he told ezra not to tell anakin about his darth vader conspiracy spiel, but he's more than ready to be let down. he loves the kid but he is... too honest, too good, and it has led to a lot of unnecessary troubles. ]
The thing about Ezra is that he wants to do good. Desperately so. That's what worries me the most. He doesn't look at the bigger picture, only the immediate moment and the outcome he could obtain by seizing it.
[Leave it to Cal to see a bright lining through this conversation.]
If you know how he's going to react to a situation, you can act on that. Mostly if you think it's going to be damaging as a whole. I wouldn't presume to intervene but, as his Master, it'll at least be easy to negate anything negative he does here.
I do my best to keep him in check. At least when I see he's going too far.
[ he offers ezra a lot of freedoms because he can see his passion, his spirit, and wants to respect that. the old teachings of the jedi to suppress and push back those emotions wasn't one kanan ever understood even as a padawan, and so he can't in good faith press them onto ezra. but he also disregarded warning signs he should have seen that ezra could be tempted by darker powers - all in the name of doing good.
he breathes in, out, and lets it go. ]
You know, you should tell me a little bit more about yourself too once in a while. Feels like you're always listening to my woes.
[ maybe cal is just more closely guarded than he seems. or that he has nothing to hide. ]
Me? I don't know if there's much I can talk about.
[Despite saying that, Cal did have a diverse life. He's just not entirely aware of it.]
I could tell you about the time Darth Vader stabbed me with my own lightsaber. Or the time an ancient civilization told me they were leaving the galaxy. I could also tell you about how I made friends with a nightsister.
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he's been contemplating his life a lot. ]
Ezra told me... about the future. I'm not sure what he's told you about us, if anything, but something tells me he had to tell someone.
[ kanan asked him not to say anything and he kept his word as long as he could hold it in, but he knows ezra. he'd want to tell someone, someone who could understand. another jedi. ]
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[It was the truth, so to speak. But he didn't want to admit all that he knew since he did make a promise.]
What kind of future did he give you?
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[ for however much ezra likes to tout being a good liar, he's actually very honest. kanan can sense he has to be the one to say it - it's why he called cal out here after all. ]
He wanted me to knight him, and said I didn't because I couldn't. [ he breathes in, then out- ] I died.
[ saying it out loud, past tense, chills him. ]
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[Well, at least Kanan knew and Cal didn't have to keep a secret. But still, he hadn't thought this far ahead.]
...this might seem insensitive but I don't see the problem here. Knowing that you're dead in the future can be sobering but are you dead now?
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[ ha ha ha, he's here all night!! ]
Is it strange that... it doesn't bother me? I feel like it should, but...
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It shouldn't. Kanan, look. I don't know the circumstances but I know where we are now. And you have an opportunity. One to teach Ezra everything he needs to know, after what had happened to you.
...if I were you, I'd triple his training. Just to make sure he's ready.
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That's the problem. He thinks he knows everything he has to. Like he doesn't even have to try anymore. Kid always had an ego, but now he feels justified in it.
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How do you think Master Kenobi feels about Anakin? If you ask me, it's the same thing. Of course, there's always the simple option...though simple isn't for Jedi.
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[ between ezra claiming he's vader and anakin suggesting he should join the emperor (of fellden, but even so) he's exhausted by the thought alone. ]
...No one should really know when they go, or how. It just looms over the head. But there's something freeing in the knowledge too. Almost humbling.
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[Cal knows nothing of this, sadly.]
I can't say one way or other since I've never been in that situation. But I think we both know the phrase "The Force works in mysterious ways".
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[ he thinks of telling cal about why he made that comment about anakin but... no, another time. he's not ready to open that can of worms on cal, not when he's questioning it all himself. ]
I don't need to know how it happens, or when. Maybe it hasn't hit me yet, I don't know. I don't want to change it or do anything different to prevent it, but it feels like I've been running my whole life from death.
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[So that's a big no. On the other hand, Cal is capable of cryptic Jedi speech.]
Have you been running from death or have you been running towards it? To be honest, probably the latter but, in your case, that's a good thing. You've spent your time in the Rebellion helping others but you can't say you haven't been running headlong into danger.
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It's funny. How after Order 66 all we could think about was hiding in plain sight, but then years pass by and we just can't let the ghost die. [ he sighs, a mix of fond and forlorn. ] Guess that's the real Jedi way. Running into danger because we must. It's who we are, isn't it?
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That's exactly who we are. People who throw ourselves in front of the innocent because we have the ability to do so.
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Don't sound too excited about that. [ true though. it feels nice to talk about it with someone of his era when the concept of a jedi era is still a distant memory. ] I think we'll be doing a lot more of it too here. The Priestess can't be thrilled about what the Emperor did to the Temple.
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[Thankfully, Cal learned a spell for fixing walls. Or a small part of them.]
Reviewing things, I can't help but think this Emperor reminds me of a certain other Emperor. In terms of accepting his terms and everything.
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[ and, saying that, he feels he should be a little more clear. he straightens up and turns his head to cal, eyes shut. ]
I spoke with Anakin some time ago. When I told him I was part of the Temple claimed he suggested I should defect to the Court.
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[Consider Cal entirely surprised. He has to process that for a moment.]
I'll be honest, I think Anakin is everything I should be. But my Master often complained that he had no discipline and did what he wanted.
[He has to rub his brow, mostly to think on what he learned. Almost every Jedi Master spouted that line and didn't approve of Anakin. Yet he was a part of them, even if Cal disagreed.]
Maybe he's been swayed by smooth words. You and I, as self promoting as it sounds, have been through a lot more than Anakin has and can recognize this kind of thing. [Cal's struggling to make up excuses for the person who will never be a Jedi Master.]] We just have to pull him back.
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[ he breathes in, trying to think of an excuse himself. the conversation still rattles him. ]
You and I are the only Temple claimed Jedi. Perhaps he thinks it's a good idea for us to all be united under one territory? But...
[ well, if he would defect for any reason the first that comes to mind is ezra. but ezra is... grown. he can handle himself. kanan has to recognize that, especially if his death truly is impending. he has to start letting go, no matter how rough it is. ]
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[Yeah, there's a pause there.]
...Ezra. He's over there, isn't he? [Cal has a small amount of sympathy and is also glad he doesn't have to deal with a split in loyalty.] I don't think he'd bend to anyone's word. Even yours, to be fair. Ezra is the kind of person who would do what he thinks is right without considering the bigger picture, if I've read him right. Kind of like you but with a little less training.
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[ he told ezra not to tell anakin about his darth vader conspiracy spiel, but he's more than ready to be let down. he loves the kid but he is... too honest, too good, and it has led to a lot of unnecessary troubles. ]
The thing about Ezra is that he wants to do good. Desperately so. That's what worries me the most. He doesn't look at the bigger picture, only the immediate moment and the outcome he could obtain by seizing it.
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[Leave it to Cal to see a bright lining through this conversation.]
If you know how he's going to react to a situation, you can act on that. Mostly if you think it's going to be damaging as a whole. I wouldn't presume to intervene but, as his Master, it'll at least be easy to negate anything negative he does here.
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[ he offers ezra a lot of freedoms because he can see his passion, his spirit, and wants to respect that. the old teachings of the jedi to suppress and push back those emotions wasn't one kanan ever understood even as a padawan, and so he can't in good faith press them onto ezra. but he also disregarded warning signs he should have seen that ezra could be tempted by darker powers - all in the name of doing good.
he breathes in, out, and lets it go. ]
You know, you should tell me a little bit more about yourself too once in a while. Feels like you're always listening to my woes.
[ maybe cal is just more closely guarded than he seems. or that he has nothing to hide. ]
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[Despite saying that, Cal did have a diverse life. He's just not entirely aware of it.]
I could tell you about the time Darth Vader stabbed me with my own lightsaber. Or the time an ancient civilization told me they were leaving the galaxy. I could also tell you about how I made friends with a nightsister.
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A nightsister.
[ disgusted, revolted. ]
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